Wednesday, July 28, 2010

mad. blogging.

i wish the title meant
that i was blogging like MAD.

but no.
i have been slacking.

but this is anGRY blogging.

not hardcore mad

but EXCEL mad.


because i HATE excel.
(right now.)

sure i am amused
and impressed by the
wonders that it can do.

i mean put it in a math
spelling bee and it
will win every time,
give it the math portion
of my SAT's and bAM -
i am going to harvard.

for math.

how 'bout them apples?

what with it's fancy
"formulas" and things like
"summation signs."

and maybe i am being to harsh.
i don't really HATE.

i mean i DO love how you
can make the cells
all different pretty
colors and i appreciate the
wide variety or font-ual
choices.

HOWEVER, my beef (the vegetarian kind)
is that
every freakin' TIME
i am am working on a
spreadsheet
(well, every time LATELY)
- and mind you these
spreadsheets i am
putting together
are full of WORDS,
and lists
not numbers, s
ummations
or formulas,
(thank the lawd!)
so really i GUESS i could
be doing all of this
in a word doc...

but that's neither
here.

nor is it there.

but EVERY time
like RIGHT before i am
thinking about how
i should stop
and SAVE -

that pretty spinning PINWHEEL
show ups out of
nowheres and at first
i am excited - i mean
who doesn't LOVE a good
pinwheel?

usually pinwheels
mean party TIME!

at least in MY world.

but in excel world
they kind of mean
eF u.

or at least that is
how they FEEL to me.

because the pinwheel
starts turning and
turning
and turning
and i can't DO anything.
and then i wait
and pray said pinwheel
will make the party
go away.
and that i can carri on
with my word doc in excel
so i can just
be DUNG!

but it
never
stops
turning.

and so i try to click around.
but nothing will happen.

then i start to tell FB
how mad
i am about this.

and then realize i have
TOO MUCH TO SAY
about that pretty
pinwheel
so i start to blog

and then i force QUIT.
and lose whatever
i have forgotten to SAVE.

and i start to write
a letter to
excel asking them
to change the fun pinwheel
to a skull and cross bones
or a jar of poison
or a parking ticket
or something that
isn't quite as fun
as a pinwheel
so i know right away
my excel word doc is
about to die.

but i don't send the letter.

it's a little too harsh.

and if i did send it
i would add in a
"winking parentheses smiley face"
or an "xoxo" at the end.

you know,
to take the edge off.



so...there's that too.


uh.
peas.

xoxo

; )


BAM.

3 comments:

  1. I like you. And I like what you write.

    ReplyDelete
  2. aww...thanks triple C! ditto. MEAN IT. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  3. we call it the pinwheel of death at work. i rather like the skull and cross bones idea!

    ReplyDelete