Thursday, October 28, 2010

vegas. baby.

so i went to vegas
like 2 weeks ago.
drove. for work.

i don't love vegas.
i don't even really like it.
i think i would like it more
if i liked to
gamble, drink
and get crazy.

i don't like to gamble.
it makes me think of
all the things i could
have bought with that
ten dollars -
a people magazine
a latte
5 postcards.

i LOVE to drink.
but i can't because
now that i am old(er),
it gives me a headache
and makes me feel crummy.
for. days.

maybe it always made
me feel that way
- but perhaps the feeling
of sickness was trumped
by my youthful energy
and need to
"get my drink on."

but now i notice
it more.
so i try to refrain.

and i DO like to get crazy
but in a different way.
like in a hyped up on
caffeine, eat stale m&m's,
dance around the
kitchen kind of way.
not a vegas way.

they do have good restaurants
though. i had a delightful
meal at the one indian place
and then another place
and then chipotle.

but i was there for WORK -
to pimp the baby skincare
at the ABC kids expo.

this expo is just 8 trillion
square feet of kids stuff.

it was a lot of action.

and we worked it.
we pimped the baby skin(care)
hardcore and it was great!

i guess.


i had fun talking to the
public. hmm...actually,
not really.

well, sometimes.

there was this one gal
who started a baby skincare
brand and i was sent over
to do recon.
i turned my badge around
so she couldn't see
that i was from the
and i went over and asked
questions and listened
to her talk
and when she
asked if i was an
exhibitor or buyer
i told her i was
uhh...a boutique owner
in uhhh...maryland.

so...a buyer, obvs.

and then a little voice
in my head told me to
run away before she asked
me TOO many questions.

but i didn't run.
because my feet hurt
from standing for
17 hours a day.

so i just stood there.

and then she said
"what is your boutique called?"
and i looked at my badge
that was backwards
(as if i had to check the
name of MY boutique!)

and i said.

"maryland. it's in maryland."


and then i walked away briskly.
and then i came back
and told boss what happened
and she laughed and said
let's go introduce
ourselves. so like a lying
5 year old, i went back with
"my mom" (boss)
and told her i had lied.

and we all had a
GREAT mortifying laugh.


and then boss and lady
became homies.

and i slinked back to our booth.

and called my
"boutique in maryland"
to check on sales.

i.e. called nani - to say hi.

then this other time, this lady
came up to me and said that
she liked our products because
they were gluten free.
and i was like "YEAH, they are!"

and i said "do you have celiac?"
and she said "yes."
and i said
"sisters in celiac!!" and tried
to high-five her
but she was holding her
baby and didn't want to high five.

or laugh.


and then this
heavily accented couple
with "international-badges"
stopped by the booth.

i gave them the speil
and then told them we
don't sell internationally - yet!

but one day.

and then we were just chatting.

i asked where there were from.


now, i don't know about you
but whenever i hear
russia, i think
rocky IV.

namely the last scene
where everyone is cheering for
rocky after he beats ivan
and he has the translator guy
next to him and
he says:

"if i can change."

russian translation here.

"and you can change."

russian translation here.



and i used to work
at the pizza place with a
russian guy named
igor and i would make
him do the back and forth
part with me.

i was rocky.

he was the russian translator.

he never gave me enough
umph! at the end
but he was fine.

so of course, i brought up
rocky IV with said
russian couple and my
theory on how it helped end
the cold war.

and then i asked them if
i said a line, if they could
go ahead and translate it for me
into russian...

(what!? it's my favorite part
of the MOVIE!!!)

they were NOT very GOOD
at this game.

and didn't do the
translations right.

now that i think about it,
maybe they were NOT
real russians.

perhaps they were...

from maryland.



that was vegas.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

runners. whirled.

i went running the other day.

it's what i do sometimes
after i don't leave the
house all day.
makes me feel productive
and then forces me to

i am not a
professional runner,
but i can run like 5 miles
and not feel like i am
going to die
or pass out.

and i can still apply mascara

NOT like that time i went
running with vikki
in canada while she
was training for her marathon
and i was like,
six miles?
oh suuuuure...

i mean, i HAD
tied for fastest girl mile
in the 5th grade -
(time: 8 min 34 sec - truth.)

sure, i can run
six of those.

and i did.

and we saw foxes.
and in my memory, the
foxes chased us down
the canadian road.

but we outran them.

but maybe that didn't happen.

like that time i
remember our mom
dancing with minister tom
in our family room.

she says that never happened.

vikki seems to remember
the foxes.

so i ran the six miles
like a champ.

but then i couldn't move.
well, i could.

but i couldn't put on my

my hands shook.

and we didn't go out to
dinner that night.

vikki ate from the vending machine
and i watched 20/20 while
lying on her bed.

typical friday night
in mississauga
circa july 2000.

but i can run NOW.
and i do.

and i went running the other day
and there was this
very TALL man
running in front of me.
and his stride was so
LONG and it kind of looked
like he was marching.

and i thought to myself
"i bet he read runners' world
before he ran today
because he seems to be
trying a new technique."

or maybe that's how he always
runs. because of his
LONG, gigantic legs.

but i passed him.

not really because i was
trying. but maybe because
i had had a nice
cup of cold coffee before
lacing up.

so i passed him.
and kept going.

and then i kept thinking
i heard him
behind me.
but i wasn't sure.

and i didn't want to look,
because i prolly would
have tripped,
or his knee would
have hit me in the face.

so i kept going.

and i convinced myself
that maybe my
music had the sound
of long legged foot patters
in the beat.

and like a mile later,
i got to a stoplight.
and was waiting for the
light to change so i could
cross the street

and then there tall man was.
right behind me!

but he kept going straight.

and as he passed, he said
"thanks for the push."

and he kind of smiled.

and i smiled.

and for like one of the
first times ever,

i felt...
like an athlete.

but then i started to get

was that a SMIRK?

i mean i WAS listening
to foo fighters 'overdrive'
and i WAS very in my head
and jacked up on caffeine

had i PUSHED tall man
out of my WAY
and not even NOTICED?


so then i felt like a
cheating athlete.

and actually,
it still felt



Tuesday, August 31, 2010

california. love. wrap.

was just downing my
veggie buuurrrger
hummus wrap thing
that i MADE
with my own two
hands and one

and i always put
toothpicks in the
wrap so it stays together
since the wrap part
is gluten-freedom
so it doesn't really
"rap" that well...say like...

2pac (KIDDING!)

tupac rules.
or did.

i was in the car with my
mom like ten years ago
and "california love" came
on and my mom goes -
"this is my favorite tupac song."


and now i LIVE
in california which is
SOOOO ironic.

not really.
not really
at all.

so, i make the wrap
and i close it
up with the
tupacs i mean
because the brown rice
tor-tiLLa doesn't
really like to stay

so i use the picks
and then i eat it and
then like
EVERYtime almost -
i nearly end up
EATING said picks.

now, i know what
you are saying...

REALLY, carri?

your mom's FAVORITE
tupac song is
"california LOVE"?

and not the acclaimed
"dear mama"??

and to that i would
say yes,

and i would also say
that i forget about the
toothpicks like EVERY time!


i know.


but luckily they are
pokey so i realize
i am chewing on the
pix before i
swallow them.

and the rap is sooo good.
esp with the tomato and spinach.

i also fail to
take the stickers off
my apples and plums.
most of the time.

mostly out of

(though that word may
be a little too harsh.)

and these stickers
are NOT pokey.

so i eat them.

MOST of the time.
not all the time.



peas! from the

city of compton.

i mean los feliz.