Wednesday, June 30, 2010

what do YOU see.

some may look at this
and simply see your
plastic baby-laden
bingo board
at your
local babycakes
bingo night.

i see something deeper.


of the
sugar high?


Friday, June 25, 2010

this is 20/20.

it's so tired in here.
and i still have lots to DO!
i mean for work.
and for life.


but first i will make some tea.
or maybe i will finish this
coldish coffee.

will's parents came
and stayed with us last night.
love them.
we went to
bed bath and beyond.
and then
went for mexican food.

i think i have
a problem with salt.
well, as in -
i heart the salt
as much as slug hates it.

love it on the chips.
love it on the rims of my glasses.
(though then it gets in my
eyes - but i don't care!)

i kid.
i don't wear glasses.

i love it on chocolate
and on the tip of my finger.

ok, this sounds like a problem.
but it's not really.
i don't carri a shaker in
my purse or anything.

though i used to steal a
few coffee beans from
giant or "the giant"
as nani would call it.
and carri THOSE in my
pocket because they
smelled SOOO GOOD.

so we got the chips
and ordered a round of
meaning one for me.
and a virgin one for
mama in law.

and i drank mine
fast - sooooo good.

and then i was jazzed!

i wanted to talk
factory farming industry!
and church dances!
and the electric car!
and speed reading!
and carpal tunnel!

but i also really wanted to try
and listen into the
convo of the
gilmore gal sitting behind me.

and i wanted to go to sleep.

and i also ALSO really
wanted another margarita.
(top shelf! well, not quite
but almost top.
like second shelf.)

but i refrained.

and dinner was really delish.

and we had a fun time.

and i am hungover because
i get hungover just by
looking at alcohol these days.

oh theeeese days.

especially when i am
not wearing my glasses.



Wednesday, June 23, 2010

cooking blog.

i baked the cookies.

and the recipe called for
ONE egg
ONE egg yolk.

so i separated the
egg yolk from the white
and was about to
pour the white
down the drain
as i usually do.

(i mean AFTER
i slather some
around my eyes to
'prevent crows feet.'
little trick the momz taught
me when i was 8 -
take it and run.
first one's free.)

but then i thought to myself:

wait - people DO things
with egg whites.

i mean, i have ORDERED
eggs whites at restaurants.

so there must
be something i can DO with
this thing.

maybe i could save
for morning.

i mean lately i have been
having a couple of
eggs every morning.
i whisk them in a bowl.
nuke 'em for 2 min.
scrambled eggs.
scrape them out of the bowl,
put some salt and pepper.
maybe a little
SPINACH? if you feeling frisky.
wrap 'em in a brown rice
grab a glass of oj.
and you got yourself
a cooking blog.

(tag this as RECIPE?)

so i have this egg white
and i holla to the huzz.
(feeling a tad ghetto
tonight, listening to eminem.
bear with me, yogi.)

so i am all
"will - can't i DO something
with this egg white?"

and he is all
"yeah, i think so."

me: "what?"

him: "i don't know."

me: "i mean, do i just
scramble it up and pretend
it's a real egg?"

him: "not sure."

me: "like, people SELL egg whites
in restaurants. do you ADD
something to them or is
an egg white
just egg white?"

him: "yeah, i never understood those things."

so i put a little more
around my eyes -
crows feet brigade.

and dumped it.

next time
i am going to
scramble the
fo' shiz out of it.




Tuesday, June 22, 2010

we're your friends now.

i work from
home now.

and it's nice.

i don't shower
EVERY day - but most.
and i DO brush my teeth
and wash my face
like two times a day
at LEASt.
and though
i rarely wear
clothes that don't
feel like pajamas,
i now
curl my eye lashes
and put on lip balm
to go to the store
or the gym
or sometimes before
i make lunch.
for kicks.

and in the am,
i roll out of bed
and grab my
computer and am
at work in 2 minutes.
very much awesome.

but i do miss that office

do i miss the meetings?
where everyone is looking
at their blackberrys
while i just wait
for the right time
to crack a joke?


do i miss the office
birthday parties where
we sing happy birthday
like a
funeral march
and then eat
cake unless you can't
eat the gluten
because then you just
offer to cut the cake
and smell it
and that's even
more depressing kind of?

nah...not too much.

do i miss the office gossip
and drama?
of course not.

i miss that.

and i do miss the random
chit chat -
the water cooler/
tap water talk.

i sometimes forget
the sound of my
own voice
so i go to the store
and make
extensive conversation with
the checkout person
just so i know my
voice box is working.

but i have made some
new friends.
a few.
i mean they aren't
like REAL people friends
as they are on tv.

and we don't
really "talk."

but they are
nice and dependable
and they
hang out with me
every morning
when i work from bed
and eat a babycakes
apple cranberry toastie
with my homeslice kelly ripa.
('sup, kel?)

and then discuss
"hot topics"
(hi joy. hi eliazabeth.)

and even though i
don't agree with
elizabeth on
every single thing,
i do enjoy her outfits
and her luminous skin.
i get lost in it's
luminosity and
i wonder if she gets
injections in her face
and i enjoy the
fact that she is my
sister in celiac.

so we talk about
that sometimes
but avoid politics.

and we exchange recipes.

(not really.)

but it's nice to have
have them all around.

and nice to be able
to mute them if necessary.

and i miss them when
things like
"breaking news" make
them go away.


the. end.

Monday, June 21, 2010

about me. kind of.

this one summer like
six years ago i was
at this ymca pool
in reseda because
vikki had a membership
and it was by her
tax guy and
that y had a
nice outdoor pool
and because reseda is
where daniel larusso lived.

so we drove there
and hung out
and it was taking me
forever to walk down the
stairs and get in the
water because
it was cold.

so it gave this older gentlemen
(like 70 older)
who was hangin' by the steps
plenty of time to chat us up.

and he was very nice.

and i remember him telling me
that grapes had a lot of
sugar - which sounded
delightful to me?
and that
"a lot of men liked
strong nordic calves"
referring to mine?

yes. referring to mine.

and i could tell he
was a sweet talker
and that with smooth
lines like that,
had probably had a lot of
luck with the ladies
in his day.

but i wasn't interested.

and then
the other night
i went to bed late
and then couldn't fall
asleep because i
couldn't for the life
of me remember the
lyrics to the
theme song from 227.

and i always
remember the lyrics
to theme songs from
80's tv shows.

but i couldn't remember.

and this has happened
to me before with this show,
so it wasn't surprising
or particularly disturbing.

but i fell asleep picturing
jackee harry saying
'maaaary' and that
old woman that just
talked out of
the second story window...
talking out of the
second story window
but the lyrics
refused to come to me.

i looked them up
the next day
and felt much better.

so funny because
there are so many
other things
like which way is north?
(how about UP?)
or which hand is
my left?
(give me a sec...)
that maybe should?
but just don't come to me
as easily
as the convo with
daniel larusso's grandpa
in 2004,
and don't keep
me up at night
like the
lyrics to that
remarkable show.

and i don't know...
but i think i
like it that way.

and i think i just
wrote my "about me."

or part of it
at least.

Friday, June 18, 2010

noble is his name.

i am not sure about this font.
or this blog really.
and not sure why i chose
a background image
with books in it.
maybe because i don't
READ enough books.

i am making tea.

not so sure what this blog will
be about. i was going to cook
my way through julia child's
cookbook but that's been done.
so then i was going to
cook my way though
rachael ray's 30 minute meals
but a lot of them look gross to me
and i don't cook.
so this won't be a cooking blog.
i really only know
how to make cookies.
so i will stick with that.
"carri's cookies."
oh and banana bread.
i have mastered.

today the outdoor furniture was
delivered which is VERY exciting
because the guy that
owns the place across the way
threw out the other furniture.
he said it had termites.
i said her had termites.

we had WORDS.
but did not throw punches.

that was back in december.
so i am pretty much over it.
so the furniture is really nice
and comfy but there were
a lot of flies out there today
so i am inside.

but when it was being delivered
the guy couldn't get the truck
up the road so he ran up and
had me sign this paper and then
ran away and while i was
waiting for him to return
i started talking to my new girl
neighbor. she seems nice.
and i saw her tattoo.
on her inner upper arm.
cursive. and it says
'noble was his name.'
or maybe it was
'noble is his name.'
the tatt was for her friend
who died and his
(last) name was noble.
or maybe it was his first name.

i was distracted
wondering where the man
ran off to and wondering
if he woud return with my

i mean i had SIGNED the PAPER.

but he returned.
and now it's here.
so i got that goin'.

and i realized this reads a bit
like how a 7 year old writes
a book report.

so maybe...that's my angle.

this was a report on a
book called
'his name was noble.'

or something like that.


or beginning.