Thursday, October 28, 2010

vegas. baby.

so i went to vegas
like 2 weeks ago.
drove. for work.

i don't love vegas.
i don't even really like it.
i think i would like it more
if i liked to
gamble, drink
and get crazy.

i don't like to gamble.
it makes me think of
all the things i could
have bought with that
ten dollars -
a people magazine
a latte
5 postcards.

i LOVE to drink.
but i can't because
now that i am old(er),
it gives me a headache
and makes me feel crummy.
for. days.

maybe it always made
me feel that way
- but perhaps the feeling
of sickness was trumped
by my youthful energy
and need to
"get my drink on."

but now i notice
it more.
so i try to refrain.

and i DO like to get crazy
but in a different way.
like in a hyped up on
caffeine, eat stale m&m's,
dance around the
kitchen kind of way.
not a vegas way.

they do have good restaurants
though. i had a delightful
meal at the one indian place
and then another place
and then chipotle.

but i was there for WORK -
to pimp the baby skincare
at the ABC kids expo.

this expo is just 8 trillion
square feet of kids stuff.

it was a lot of action.

and we worked it.
we pimped the baby skin(care)
hardcore and it was great!

i guess.


i had fun talking to the
public. hmm...actually,
not really.

well, sometimes.

there was this one gal
who started a baby skincare
brand and i was sent over
to do recon.
i turned my badge around
so she couldn't see
that i was from the
and i went over and asked
questions and listened
to her talk
and when she
asked if i was an
exhibitor or buyer
i told her i was
uhh...a boutique owner
in uhhh...maryland.

so...a buyer, obvs.

and then a little voice
in my head told me to
run away before she asked
me TOO many questions.

but i didn't run.
because my feet hurt
from standing for
17 hours a day.

so i just stood there.

and then she said
"what is your boutique called?"
and i looked at my badge
that was backwards
(as if i had to check the
name of MY boutique!)

and i said.

"maryland. it's in maryland."


and then i walked away briskly.
and then i came back
and told boss what happened
and she laughed and said
let's go introduce
ourselves. so like a lying
5 year old, i went back with
"my mom" (boss)
and told her i had lied.

and we all had a
GREAT mortifying laugh.


and then boss and lady
became homies.

and i slinked back to our booth.

and called my
"boutique in maryland"
to check on sales.

i.e. called nani - to say hi.

then this other time, this lady
came up to me and said that
she liked our products because
they were gluten free.
and i was like "YEAH, they are!"

and i said "do you have celiac?"
and she said "yes."
and i said
"sisters in celiac!!" and tried
to high-five her
but she was holding her
baby and didn't want to high five.

or laugh.


and then this
heavily accented couple
with "international-badges"
stopped by the booth.

i gave them the speil
and then told them we
don't sell internationally - yet!

but one day.

and then we were just chatting.

i asked where there were from.


now, i don't know about you
but whenever i hear
russia, i think
rocky IV.

namely the last scene
where everyone is cheering for
rocky after he beats ivan
and he has the translator guy
next to him and
he says:

"if i can change."

russian translation here.

"and you can change."

russian translation here.



and i used to work
at the pizza place with a
russian guy named
igor and i would make
him do the back and forth
part with me.

i was rocky.

he was the russian translator.

he never gave me enough
umph! at the end
but he was fine.

so of course, i brought up
rocky IV with said
russian couple and my
theory on how it helped end
the cold war.

and then i asked them if
i said a line, if they could
go ahead and translate it for me
into russian...

(what!? it's my favorite part
of the MOVIE!!!)

they were NOT very GOOD
at this game.

and didn't do the
translations right.

now that i think about it,
maybe they were NOT
real russians.

perhaps they were...

from maryland.



that was vegas.

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