vegas. baby.

so i went to vegas

like 2 weeks ago.

drove. for work.

i don't love vegas.

i don't even really like it.

i think i would like it more

if i liked to

gamble, drink

and get crazy.

i don't like to gamble.

it makes me think of

all the things i could

have bought with that

ten dollars -

a people magazine

a latte

5 postcards.

i LOVE to drink.

but i can't because

now that i am old(er),

it gives me a headache

and makes me feel crummy.

for. days.

maybe it always made

me feel that way

- but perhaps the feeling

of sickness was trumped

by my youthful energy

and need to

"get my drink on."

but now i notice

it more.

so i try to refrain.

sometimes.

and i DO like to get crazy

but in a different way.

like in a hyped up on

caffeine, eat stale m&m's,

dance around the

kitchen kind of way.

not a vegas way.

they do have good restaurants

though. i had a delightful

meal at the one indian place

and then another place

and then chipotle.

but i was there for WORK -

to pimp the baby skincare

at the ABC kids expo.

this expo is just 8 trillion

square feet of kids stuff.

it was a lot of action.

and we worked it.

we pimped the baby skin(care)

hardcore and it was great!

i guess.

whatever.

i had fun talking to the

public. hmm...actually,

not really.

well, sometimes.

there was this one gal

who started a baby skincare

brand and i was sent over

to do recon.

i turned my badge around

so she couldn't see

that i was from the

competition

and i went over and asked

questions and listened

to her talk

and when she

asked if i was an

exhibitor or buyer

i told her i was

uhh...a boutique owner

in uhhh...maryland.

so...a buyer, obvs.

and then a little voice

in my head told me to

run away before she asked

me TOO many questions.

but i didn't run.

because my feet hurt

from standing for

17 hours a day.

so i just stood there.

and then she said

"what is your boutique called?"

and i looked at my badge

that was backwards

(as if i had to check the

name of MY boutique!)

and i said.

"maryland. it's in maryland."

perfecT.

and then i walked away briskly.

and then i came back

and told boss what happened

and she laughed and said

let's go introduce

ourselves. so like a lying

5 year old, i went back with

"my mom" (boss)

and told her i had lied.

and we all had a

GREAT mortifying laugh.

hahaha!!

terrible.

and then boss and lady

became homies.

and i slinked back to our booth.

and called my

"boutique in maryland"

to check on sales.

i.e. called nani - to say hi.

then this other time, this lady

came up to me and said that

she liked our products because

they were gluten free.

and i was like "YEAH, they are!"

and i said "do you have celiac?"

and she said "yes."

and i said

"sisters in celiac!!" and tried

to high-five her

but she was holding her

baby and didn't want to high five.

or laugh.

so...

and then this

heavily accented couple

with "international-badges"

stopped by the booth.

i gave them the speil

and then told them we

don't sell internationally - yet!

but one day.

and then we were just chatting.

i asked where there were from.

russia!

now, i don't know about you

but whenever i hear

russia, i think

rocky IV.

namely the last scene

where everyone is cheering for

rocky after he beats ivan

and he has the translator guy

next to him and

he says:

"if i can change."

russian translation here.

"and you can change."

russian translation here.

"EVERYBODY CAN CHANGE!!!!"

ENTHUSIASTIC RUSSIAN TRANSLATION!!!

and i used to work

at the pizza place with a

russian guy named

igor and i would make

him do the back and forth

part with me.

i was rocky.

he was the russian translator.

he never gave me enough

umph! at the end

but he was fine.

so of course, i brought up

rocky IV with said

russian couple and my

theory on how it helped end

the cold war.

and then i asked them if

i said a line, if they could

go ahead and translate it for me

into russian...

(what!? it's my favorite part

of the MOVIE!!!)

they were NOT very GOOD

at this game.

and didn't do the

translations right.

now that i think about it,

maybe they were NOT

real russians.

perhaps they were...

from maryland.

so...

yep.

that was vegas.

runners. whirled.

i went running the other day.

it's what i do sometimes

after i don't leave the

house all day.

makes me feel productive

and then forces me to

shower.

i am not a

professional runner,

but i can run like 5 miles

and not feel like i am

going to die

or pass out.

and i can still apply mascara

afterward.

NOT like that time i went

running with vikki

in canada while she

was training for her marathon

and i was like,

six miles?

oh suuuuure...

i mean, i HAD

tied for fastest girl mile

in the 5th grade -

(time: 8 min 34 sec - truth.)

sure, i can run

six of those.

and i did.

and we saw foxes.

and in my memory, the

foxes chased us down

the canadian road.

but we outran them.

but maybe that didn't happen.

like that time i

remember our mom

dancing with minister tom

in our family room.

she says that never happened.

vikki seems to remember

the foxes.

so i ran the six miles

like a champ.

but then i couldn't move.

well, i could.

but i couldn't put on my

mascara.

my hands shook.

and we didn't go out to

dinner that night.

vikki ate from the vending machine

and i watched 20/20 while

lying on her bed.

typical friday night

in mississauga

circa july 2000.

but i can run NOW.

and i do.

and i went running the other day

and there was this

very TALL man

running in front of me.

and his stride was so

LONG and it kind of looked

like he was marching.

and i thought to myself

"i bet he read runners' world

before he ran today

because he seems to be

trying a new technique."

or maybe that's how he always

runs. because of his

LONG, gigantic legs.

but i passed him.

not really because i was

trying. but maybe because

i had had a nice

cup of cold coffee before

lacing up.

so i passed him.

and kept going.

and then i kept thinking

i heard him

behind me.

but i wasn't sure.

and i didn't want to look,

because i prolly would

have tripped,

or his knee would

have hit me in the face.

so i kept going.

and i convinced myself

that maybe my

music had the sound

of long legged foot patters

in the beat.

and like a mile later,

i got to a stoplight.

and was waiting for the

light to change so i could

cross the street

and then there tall man was.

right behind me!

but he kept going straight.

and as he passed, he said

"thanks for the push."

and he kind of smiled.

and i smiled.

and for like one of the

first times ever,

i felt...

like an athlete.

but then i started to get

paranoid.

wait...had i ACTUALLY PUSHED HIM?

was that a SMIRK?

i mean i WAS listening

to foo fighters 'overdrive'

and i WAS very in my head

and jacked up on caffeine

had i PUSHED tall man

out of my WAY

and not even NOTICED?

hmm...

so then i felt like a

cheating athlete.

and actually,

it still felt

really.

good.

california. love. wrap.

was just downing my

veggie buuurrrger

hummus wrap thing

that i MADE

with my own two

hands and one

microwave.

and i always put

toothpicks in the

wrap so it stays together

since the wrap part

is gluten-freedom

so it doesn't really

"rap" that well...say like...

2pac (KIDDING!)

tupac rules.

or did.

i was in the car with my

mom like ten years ago

and "california love" came

on and my mom goes -

"this is my favorite tupac song."

WHAT?

and now i LIVE

in california which is

SOOOO ironic.

not really.

not really

at all.

so, i make the wrap

and i close it

up with the

tupacs i mean

TOOOOTHpicks

because the brown rice

tor-tiLLa doesn't

really like to stay

closed.

so i use the picks

and then i eat it and

then like

EVERYtime almost -

i nearly end up

EATING said picks.

now, i know what

you are saying...

REALLY, carri?

your mom's FAVORITE

tupac song is

"california LOVE"?

and not the acclaimed

"dear mama"??

and to that i would

say yes,

truth.

and i would also say

that i forget about the

toothpicks like EVERY time!

almost.

i know.

crazy.

but luckily they are

pokey so i realize

i am chewing on the

pix before i

swallow them.

and the rap is sooo good.

esp with the tomato and spinach.

i also fail to

take the stickers off

my apples and plums.

most of the time.

mostly out of

laziness.

(though that word may

be a little too harsh.)

and these stickers

are NOT pokey.

so i eat them.

MOST of the time.

not all the time.

ok.

so...

peas! from the

ciitaaaaay...

city of compton.

i mean los feliz.

mmm...hummus.